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Welcome to the New Year - 2025!

  • therapy
  • Jan 20
  • 5 min read

Updated: Jun 9





Kia ora Friends and Colleagues,


Welcome to the New Year… 2025 stands before us, and 2024 is behind. I hope you all have had a good season of celebration around Christmas as well as a much deserved (summer in NZ) break.


Over the summer I have enjoyed some time and space to journal about the past year and anticipate the year ahead. I found ‘A New Years Meditation” exercise by Joyce Rupp, one of my favourite contemplative writers, a really helpful frame of reference for my reflections. I will share a few of them here to help you enter the new year from a more reflective, responsive and less reactive space.


1. What name would you give to your journey of the past year?

2. Does it have an image or a metaphor?

3. What were some of your ‘epiphanies’ or ‘ah-ha’ moments?

4. How did you grow from them?

5. How did your experience of the past year affect the world in which you live?

6. Looking forward, what name would you like to give your new year’s journey?

7. What gifts do you bring and who do you bring with you for support on this new journey?

8. Do you notice any resistance is you and what might you fear lies ahead?

9. What do you need to strengthen you for the journey ahead?

10. What do you hope to contribute to the world around you in this coming year?


I don’t know about you, but I 2024 a bit of a hard slog. Sometimes it felt like I was surrounded by death… am I allowed to say that out loud in this death-denying world? Maybe it’s just me, or the life-stage I am in. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to take for granted the privilege of getting older as I realise it is a gift not afforded to all. Just before Christmas I attended the funeral of a former student, found out a close friend has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, both not much older than I am. Over the past year a close family member has valiantly gone through immunotherapy, radiation and is bravely daily putting one foot in front of the other, still embracing life as best they can.


We are being given recipes for life from every source these days… you may be familiar with this Tibetan Proverb:


I love the emphasis on Attachment and our need to give and receive love. But there might be a missing ingredient in this recipe. What about embracing tears of futility.


I was reading Dr Gordon Neufeld’s recent Editorial where he reflects on when attachments fail… “it seems to me that our current crisis of well-being could itself be traced, not just to the failure of restful attachments [those are good enough attachments/relationships where we can be fully at psychological rest], but more accurately to our failure to grieve these lacks and losses. I do wonder if we would not have more success in turning things around if we used this time to let our tears catch up with us instead of resolving ourselves to trying harder to escape our past.” (you can read the full editorial here https://neufeldinstitute.org/editorials/when-attachments-fail-some-new-years-ruminations/)


Maybe the gift of tears is what we need to take into the New Year, to wash away the debris of broken dreams or futile endeavours of the past year, to clear the path for the new resilient growth in the garden of our soul.


In preparing for my next One Wild and Precious Life course (starting Jan. 29th, 2025 https://ruthmcconnell.com/product/one-wild-and-precious-life-12-week-online-course/) I was contemplating two themes: embracing our one and only precious life in light of our mortality and the role of play and creativity to live life to the full.


On the first theme, I came across the app called WeCroak based on the Bhutanese Folk saying “to find happiness one must contemplate death five times daily”. The intention behind the app is that ‘we believe that a regular practice of contemplating mortality helps us accept what we must, let go of things that don’t matter and honour the things that do…face impermanence in all its aspects and live better lives today.”


At a time when mental health challenges are on the rise and support systems are stretched, we are in need of practices that enhance our resilience. More love – good enough attachments; more psychological rest from futile pursuits; more play since play is activated rest, according to Gordon Neufeld.


The more I work with clients who have experienced trauma, the more convinced I am that play and creativity is nature’s healer. The more I engage in my creative playfulness, the easier it is to carry the ‘load’ of caring for clients with trauma stories. Play helps me express a full range of ‘stuck’ emotions, even the tears that I may not be aware that my system is carrying.


I also came across a great book by Cailtlin Marshal and Lizzie Rose (2024) Creative First Aid. Murdoch Books, Sydney.


They make a very good case for play/creativity leading us to our natural healing:


“Being creative is good for us: it lowers our stress hormones, calms our nervous system and can get us into a flow state. Our innate creativity is part of being human, but it’s easy to forget, especially since many of us have been told that we are ‘no good’ at art.


Creative First Aid: The science and joy of creativity for mental health : Marshall, Caitlin, Rose, Lizzie: Amazon.com.au: Books


On that note…. due to a few people having to pull out I have 2 spaces left on my next course on creative and spiritual recovery called….


One Wild and Precious Life course


“What are you going to do with your ONE WILD and PRECIOUS LIFE?” – Mary Oliver’s poignant question invites us to a deeper reflection on how we will live the days we have been given.


My next course starting on Jan. 29th 2025 so get in touch ASAP if you are interested in joining. These FINAL SPOTS ARE AVAILABLE AT A 30% DISCOUNT.



Planning ahead……

New Zealand Association for Counselling

Professional Development Webinar

March 3, 2025

6:00-8:00 pm Auckland NZ time


Understanding the long-term effects of Complex Developmental Trauma on children




Grow Seminar



March 17 2025 (9:00-3:00 NZ time) To register click here:


New Zealand Psychological Society Event



to book click here


I wish you well in these early days of the new year and may a hope-filled road rise up to greet you!



Go gently Kia pai tō rā (Have a nice day)

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